So Bored my Ass Hurts

Have you ever been so bored your ass actually hurts? No, not in a scary, medical kind of way, but from sitting and doing nothing. Yes, I am still in the 'new job fuzziness' phase. Actually, I'm in the 'no one has time to show me how to do my new job' phase. And it blows. So here I sit, bored, don't have anywhere to go, praying for a meeting or something, even popping laxatives just so I can go to the bathroom and pass time (ok...that *may* be a bit of an exaggeration). I'd kill to take a nap, but of course the drool on my keyboard might give it away. So I sit...daily...for 9 hours...bored. I've surfed the ENTIRE internet. Even did some homework. Sigh...and still...I sit..bored. I tell ya, horses have it made being able to sleep standing up with their eyes open. Nayyyyyy.....